10/10 Recommend

I have officially served one year as a Peace Corps volunteer! 

Being here in the Gambia 14 months now, I have a pretty good idea about what I packed that was life changing.

Do you remember when I posted a color-coded excel sheet on my blog a year ago listing what all I packed? I read as many blogs as I could find at the time and I tried my best. ☠️ You just don’t know what you don’t know. 

But now I would say I do know what has helped me most during my year of service and I want to share in case anyone else is packing for a similar experience. It’s noteworthy to mention that I didn’t initially come with most of these things and some things were sent to me by my fiancé and mom.

For the most part this list is in no particular order. Again, this list is just what works really well for me and what I would recommend. 

  • PROPEL

    A lot of volunteers here in the gambia drink the unfiltered, local water. I am not as cool as them and I really care about not getting sick still so I not only filter all of my drinking water with the Berkey water filter provided to me by Peace Corps but I still bleach my drinking water as well. I also try really hard not to drink or eat any of the local juices or foods that have unfiltered water in them. A tangent, but I did just yesterday eat a Baobab Ice (think homemade frozen popsicle made of unfiltered water and baobab bits in a plastic bag that you rip off the corner of and eat). I usually avoid the Baobab ones and stick to the Wonjo ones (made with boiled water) however my counterpart bought me a Baobab one while we were doing language class at the school. I figured that I had been in country for well over a year and my stomach would probably do fine. It indeed was not fine. Instantly my stomach hurt and I had to end class early, almost pooping my pants on the long bike-ride home. Now, back on topic; when I first started filtering my water in my training village during Pre-Service Training I hated the taste of the water. Experiencing the wettest, dampest, wet-blanket type heat of my entire life and sweating so much that the first 2 months of being in country my hair was never dry, it was a huge problem for me to increase my water intake. My mom ended up sending me a care package in the mail with a few boxes of propel electrolyte drink mixes and it changed my whole service! Picking out the flavor each day ended up giving me something to look forward to and I drank a lot more water. There are drink mixes you can get in country at most bitikos (corner stores) in every village but they are made of mostly sugar and they end up making me more thirsty. The propel are yummy and have electrolytes to help you stay hydrated when sweating so much. I know some volunteers swear by Liquid IV flavor packets, and while I did come with a pack of them, I didn’t like them as much. At one point my fiancé also sent me a huge tub of the Gatorade ice blue powder drink mix (the light blue one which is the best Gatorade flavor) and that was my favorite for a long time because it was so yummy and it was the best value for the money. However, after only a few weeks the powder began to get gummy because of the humidity and I realized that my climate is just too wet for a huge tub of powder to stay good for long enough. That’s why the individual Propel flavor packets are the tried and true best. I highly recommend the flavor variety packs and take them out of the cardboard box packages and pack them all in one huge ziplock bag. Roaches are everywhere. Bonus suggestion: pack lots of ziplock bags in all sizes!! That could tie as my recommendation number one. 

  • Rinse free bath sponges

    My mom is a QVC woman and has always been a QVC woman. And thank God! Because she saw these sponge things on QVC and bought me a pack which I originally packed in my suitcase. They are meant for many things such as camping and travel. Another tangent, the summer before I left for The Gambia my dad had multiple surgeries and ICU admissions. He ended up having a hard time showering with his injuries and incisions after getting released from the hospital. I gave him the original pack my mom got me and they really helped him upkeep his hygiene. I thought they were cool and I thought they would be nice to have but I didn’t realize that they would be a necessity. I’m telling you every volunteer NEEDS them. They come in packs of 25 soft fluffy sheets like a dryer-lint material. All you need is a small splash of water and instantly they foam up. They are unscented but there is a slight nice soap smell. Basically you can wash your whole body and not have to rinse off. After scrubbing your body down with bubbles you just wipe off with your towel and the bubbles disappear. You don’t feel sticky or soapy, you just feel clean! You can wash your body with one but to wash your feet properly I use another one for my feet. The reason these are such a huge lifesaver for me is for a lot of reasons. I do not have a shower nor a bathroom. To shower I take a bucket of water and a cup outside in my private backyard and bucket bathe in the sun. Because it feels best to stand butt naked and pour water on yourself outside while the sun is highest in the sky, I usually take my bath after lunch around 3pm. Also, if you wait any later you risk being eaten alive naked by mosquitos the closer you get to dusk. Since I bathe so early, the problem is that there is still an entire half of the day left where I get into clean clothes to go outside and still do activities. Now, for a lot of volunteers hygiene is not a huge deal. But for me it is. First, I cannot get into my bed unless I am freshly bathed and clean and secondly I cannot wear my outside clothes in my bed. Therefore, these suds sheets have been a life saver for me because when I come inside to sleep at night I am able to feel clean by wiping off the second half of my day and get into clean jammies. Also, I use these all the time just to clean my feet. One thing I didn’t realize was how dirty my feet were going to get. There are no paved roads and everywhere you walk is just dirt and sand. When you step out the door there are all kinds of animal droppings and trash on the ground. When you fetch water, your feet get wet and then you accumulate mud from all the sand you walk through on the way home. Feet never stay clean! Not to mention, on the rare occasion that there is no water at the tap or you didn’t fetch enough that day, you can upkeep your hygiene because these only require a tiny bit of water. For Peace Corps Volunteers, especially those who have to fetch water and have no running water, these are a must have. Therefore, these bad boys are so high up on my recommendation list. 

  • Microfiber towels

    Do not. I repeat. Do NOT pack regular cotton bath towels. buy at least 2 of the large size microfiber towels and at least 2 of the smaller sizes. These towels are incredibly thin and lightweight. They also dry very fast. They make travel a lot easier when you roll it up small and pack it in your bag to go spend a weekend with a friend. The only way to wash here is to wash by hand. It is a lot easier hand washing these than a heavy wet bath towel. The only way to dry clothes here is to hang them to dry in the sun. In the dry season this is not so big of a deal BUT in the rainy season having microfiber towels is essential. Sometimes it rains heavy for days and it feels like nothing ever dries. Having extra towels on hand is really convenient and I use the small ones to wash my feet with.

  • Period underwear

    I bought these last minute and I’m so thankful that I did. This might be TMI, but I only use a certain brand of pads. I packed a package of the ones that I use and I thought I would be okay. I anticipated using the period underwear as a backup. However, once I got here it became evident just how awful having your cycle is here. I realized that I slept a lot more comfortably wearing the period underwear and wearing them helped me not go through my disposable pads as fast. I could even handwash them in the morning and hang them to dry in the sun all day so I could wear them that night. Packing at least a 3 pack is essential to manage an already very uncomfortable experience. 

  • Plastic slides

    i have always worn the Meijer off-brand birkenstocks during summers. YOu know the ones that have the soft cork bottom and leather straps? Well, i packed some beat up old ones that I had worn for years thinking they would last. Let me tell you, your shoes go through so much wear and tear here. They only lasted through the first two months of PST. I realized very quickly that the sand and moisture don’t mix well with the suede and leather version. Also, I packed a pair of really cute Tevas that strap around the back of my feet. I thought I would wear them everyday and I have only worn them once or twice. The thing about it is, you see so many people and take your shoes off so often that having to unstrap and re-strap your shoes is a pain. Most OF MY volunteer FRIENDS THAT ONLY BROUGHT THE STRAP-UP KIND OF SANDALS ENDED UP MAKING THEM SLIDES. THE TRUTH IS, YOU NEED SLIDES THAT ARE A PLASTIC. SMOOTH MATERIAL. MY MOM ENDED UP SENDING ME MY ONE AND ONLY PAIR OF THE PLASTIC BIRKENSTOCK SLIDES AND THEY ARE PERFECT! I WASH my shoes every day with soap and water because of all the dirt and poop and mud they accumulate. I know target makes an off-brand version of the plastic birkenstocks that are only $10.

  • Cotton hook-front bras

    I only packed the classic pull-over sports bras. I didn’t know just how hot and sweaty it is here and how hard even wrestling on and off a pull-over sports bra would be. you know when you are drenched in sweat and clothes stick to you? It’s awful pulling off a tight sports bra while sweaty. I dreaded putting on clothes every morning. Thankfully, my mom sent me a few packs of these soft hook-front bras and it made my mornings so much easier. They hook from the front so there is no pulling it off and on over your head and they are a soft cotton that washes and dries well.

  • French press

    the gambia is definitely a tea place rather than a coffee place. Everyone drinks black tea in the mornings, usually with lots of sugar. but you can find instant coffee and Café Touba being sold in the cities out of little rusted blue carts and served in tiny paper cups. Café touba is like a local coffee blend that has spices in it and is an acquired taste. I think it tastes like burnt incense. Luckily, when my husband came to visit me in august he brought me a french press and a few bags of my favorite Tim horton’s ground coffee. when all of his friends travel back to gambia to visit they always pack a french press to make american coffee so he knew it would be really helpful. I had never used a french press before, but now it is the most priceless thing that I own. He had to show me how to use it and now i use it almost every morning. It has given me so much joy and just the smell alone of real coffee in the mornings is the dopamine hit i’ve been missing.

  • Crossbody fanny pack

    this one might be obvious to most people and these are common to wear when hiking or traveling. but in my case, i had packed only purses and figured that i would be okay. last minute, i added a simple fanny pack to my amazon wish list that my fiancé’s brother bought me. and i am so relieved that he did! because i wear it every single day. in-country travel to my closest banking city, to the capital, to the training center or to visit another volunteer all includes using local transportation. this is a really safe country, however petty crime definitely exists. I was pickpocketed while on the ferry once and was devastated. during all of the chaos of the ferry, someone had reached into my book bag that i was wearing on my back and stole the first thing they touched which happened to be my glasses case housing my favorite prescription glasses and my only pair of cheap sunglasses. it is so important to have your bag on the front of you while traveling so that you can see it at all times. my fanny pack has all of my money, my bank card, my ID’s, my phone and headphones, etc., all of which are safely secured and worn on my chest where i can protect it and see it. having your important belongings safe on your chest and not swinging in a bag beside you or behind you is so important. Also, it is priceless to have access to money easily at my chest while in a packed gele where people are crammed ontop of one another. anything that makes your service more safe. more organized and more easy is worth it.


  • Cotton high socks

    wearing socks in a hot and humid place feels illegal. i initially packed thinking that i would never really need to wear socks. and while you never wear socks during the day with your slides, socks have been a really important way for me to keep my feet healthy in the evenings. especially during the cold season, my feet get really dry. It became really helpful to wash my feet, moisturize and wear socks to keep my feet clean in the evening. when the sun goes down my family sits outside together until dinner and We usually eat around 8pm. I have started to wear my socks in the evenings to keep the dirt and sand from sticking to the lotion on my feet. socks also really help to protect against mosquitos in the evenings. I definitely recommend packing loose cotton high socks! although not a fashion statement, they really have helped me keep my feet moisturized.

  • Cardigan

    i really underestimated how cold it could get here. november-February is the cold season but Living through the hot season makes it almost impossible to imagine what it feels like to be cold. but it does get surprisingly cold here, especially at night! The only blanket i’ve owned was the one provided on the plane and the only sweater I’ve owned was the one i wore on the airplane. i have ended up really needing them both. i really love this oversized chunky knit one that goes with everything. I just throw it on over my jammies and bundle up by the fire in the evenings. get something that is comfy and that is easy to layer.

Bonus food edition:

  1. beef jerkey

    There isn’t a ton of protein here so getting to sneak into my one bag of jerkey that i brought back from the states every so often has been a real treat. I had rationed that one bag of jerkey like i was at war. if you eat meat and enjoy jerkey, definitely add it to your list of goodies for friends and family to send in care packages.

  2. Fruit snacks

    Maybe it is a nostalgia thing, but always having some fruit snacks in my bag when i travel in case i get hungry or stranded has been a really good feeling. I only brought back one box of them, so i don’t snack on them freely, but they are easy to tuck away in your bag as you go about your day.

if you are packing for a peace corps service or missions trip that involves dedicated packing, i highly recommend setting up an amazon wish list for your trip so that family and friends can purchase you things that you need. Family and friends were able to buy me the things that i needed such as. my nice rain coat, my backup battery packs, my flashlights and my sunscreen to just name a few. it is important to only add the things that are essential and will help your service. I have listed the amazon links under each item mentioned so that adding items to your wish list might be easier.

Sorry Cereal

I guess in Army Basic Training, if you drop cereal in the cafeteria you have to yell SORRY CEREAL! (Or whatever food name that you dropped).

It had been almost a year for me not seeing my loved ones. 

I hugged my fiancé for the last time the day I left for The Gambia on October 3, 2023. I finally got to hug him again on July 29, 2024.

The original plan was for him to come visit me here in The Gambia every six months. My month-long In-Service Training ended at the beginning of May and ideally May was when we were hoping for him to visit. BUT, as if our crazy long-distance adventure we are on was not dramatic enough, he enlisted into the Army Reserves. He attended Army Basic Training in South Carolina March 18-May 31. Then he went on for specialized training in Virginia June 3-July 24. 

Basic training was very hard. It was physically demanding, emotionally abusive and mentally draining but that man never complained once and toughed through without ever wavering. I think he’s the strongest man I’ve ever met. I never had to throw a grenade or sleep in a hole in the forest for four nights or only eat inedible MRE’s; but for me it was unbearable. 

Being stripped of almost every belonging, those in Army Basic Training only get to access their phones to call home on Sundays for 90 minutes. Phone access on Wednesdays for 30 minutes was also given as an incentive for good behavior, however I only ever got one Wednesday call. If a few 18 year-olds act up everyone gets punished. And consequently, even the Sunday phone calls were often stripped from us. 

It was devastating. It was impossibly hard not talking for weeks and having no way to contact each other. But we somehow toughed through Basic Training. When he went on to finish specialized training things got better because it was less strict. He got access to his phone in the evenings after class was over and it made such a difference to be able to talk to him more than just one hour a week. 

Me serving as a volunteer thousands of miles away in West Africa has made our relationship a long distance one, which is not easy. Then him enlisting into the military at the same time making it impossible to communicate with each other made it even more not easy. 

Which made him finally visiting even sweeter. 

Not only did I get to see the man I love, but that man also brought my mom to visit me! My mom had never been outside of the USA before (besides Canada) and The Gambia was her first international travel destination. 

Their flight out of Columbus got delayed so I ended up losing an entire day with them which was devastating! But after over 48 hours of travel, we were finally reunited.

We stayed at Tamala Beach Resort which I 10/10 recommend! I was able to get an ocean-front luxury room with private swim-up pool for only $85 a night. The free breakfast every morning was out of this world with a cook-manned omelette station, a delicious juice and fruit bar, and a huge variety of both local and European breakfast foods. I was so sad about their full-day delay out of Columbus that I went ahead and made the trip from my village to stay in the hotel. I’m so glad that I did! It was much better crying with a full belly in air-conditioning while looking at the beach. 

They finally landed at 6pm on Monday. I caught a taxi from the hotel to the airport with plenty of time to spare. I’ll never forget how nervous I felt standing in anticipation getting to see them. Then, all the sudden I finally saw them and I felt so relieved. Luckily, my mom is the kind of person to write down notes after each day to remember what we did. It is all a wonderful big blur to me; so with the help from her notes our visit went like this:

Monday: Day 1 (a day late) 

Finally we see each other at the airport! Mom got a visa for 5 years. Ibrahim was there! Rental car was at the airport ready for us and mom got to see the crazy driving in Kombo. We checked into Tamala Resort and mom and I ordered room service chicken and potatoes. So good! We ate in her chilly room while he drove to see his mom and visit his family home. Unreal to finally be with those I love! 

Tuesday: Day 2

Awesome breakfast. It was a rest day for mom. He and I went on a long walk on the beach and we got to hold hands! We convinced mom to go with us to the Target’s (the knockoff). We dropped mom back off at the hotel to rest and then we went on a lunch date to Soun. We brought mom back a burger & potato wedges, which she loved! In the evening he and I went to his family home to finally meet his mom and family. I got to meet his brother I hadn’t met yet and I got to see the two that I have. His mom was lovely and although my Mandinka is not great we did fine. I got to finally meet his nephew, but he wasn’t feeling well. After throwing up four times we put him in our rental car and drove him to the clinic. We were there a while but he got medicine and then we dropped him off at the house. We headed back to the hotel and packed that night for visiting my village!

Wednesday: Day 3

Ate breakfast and went to the bathroom good before we left. We had our asobies on (matching outfits I had tailored for us all). We left for the ferry at 9am and stopped for an oscillating fan since I didn’t have one. The way to the ferry was quite the feat! Waited, called, waited. Finally on. People everywhere. Once off, we made our way out of Barra to the countryside. Beautiful greenery and palms. Arrived in Albreda after 5 hours of travel.  We were greeted by my host family and then the village started coming by! Received delicious benekinno for lunch from my host mom and sister for just us. Passed out gifts brought for my host family. Mom was hot. I passed out “minties” to the kids and juice (Fanta) to the adults. I was very happy! He and mom met the village elders and kids. We walked to The Gambia River and took pictures with the help of my host brother C-Boy. Before dusk we took mom to the local lodge where she was staying the night. No air, no shower. But ceiling fan and toilet. He and I brought her food, fans and wifi. With fans on high, she managed to sleep some (I felt so bad! The lodge was nicer in my head). Back at the compound, he and I chatted with everyone outside and opened the UNO Extreme pack he brought. We played with all the kids and had so much fun until late and then we went to bed. Having a man in my house was so weird! 

Thursday: Day 4

We woke up early, did the usual morning greetings with my host family and then went to pick mom up from the lodge. She didn’t wash her hair so she coiled it up and wore a headband. I was so proud of her for getting through the night and roughing it. We went back to my compound and all my little kids were there. Mom loved them and they loved her. She sat and showed them photos of her dog Louie and they loved being around her. My host mom made my fiancé his favorite Churro and Nono (porridge with fermented milk on top) just for him. He and my mom walked with me to fetch water from the compound next door to see how I do it every morning. Mom was moved. They got to see the kitchen we cook in out back behind the house. My host dad and my fiancé planted a mango tree to commemorate their visit. Mom was so hot! I greeted people in the village everywhere we went and mom was touched that I knew their names. She was humbled at my resilience to live here. The goodbyes were many and we took lots of pictures. My host mom was very sad to see us leave. We were so glad to give rides to my host sister Binta and host brother Bambo to come back with us to Kombo. They had fun in the rental car. Mom and Binta did word searches and Bambo stuck his head out the sun roof. We dropped them to stay with relatives and then went on to lunch at La Parisian. My fiancé ate with a childhood friend while mom and I got to eat lunch together. Got a chocolate croissant and a Coke Zero! So yummy. We ordered Chicken Alfredo but to Gambians that is a bowl of macaroni noodles with shredded cheese and a weird sauce. I love being with my mom. We crossed the busy Kairaba Avenue and got to see the US Embassy and The Peace Corps Office building across the street. Made it back to the hotel to finally shower and get in cold AC! Mom kept her room at 68 degrees. She said she just couldn’t be a PC volunteer. Her and I put our feet in the pool while my fiancé napped. I went back to my room and got dressed up for date night. He and I went to Coco Ocean and ate outside by the beautiful pools. We had a lovely time. 

Friday: Day 5

The food was catching up to everyone by this morning. Mom didn’t feel 100% and my fiancé had a low grade fever. We went for breakfast and then mom rested. He and I went to go site-see at the Kachikally Crocodile Pool and the Monkey Park. I really enjoyed being passenger princess and being in a private car instead of a local gele vehicle. The Crocodile Pool was very nice and begins with a walk through small huts exhibiting Gambian history and culture. Kankarang masks, Kora musical instruments, tools and pictures were displayed. We spent a lot of time reading about the history of Gambian politics and the departure from English rule. The pool itself was pretty empty when we got there and it had a sense of being very important. Local women come to pray by the pool for fertility.  We touched the back of an albino crocodile who was chilling with his mouth wide open. We enjoyed it. Then we went on to the Monkey Park which was also pretty empty. We bought a bag of peanuts and a bag of banana slices to feed the two different types of monkeys. We had a nice walk through the thick trees on the trail. The monkeys all started coming when my fiancé threw the food out, which was a little nerve-wracking. They kept their distance for the most part and we had a nice time. We walked back to the car and decided to pick up some ice cream on the way back to the hotel. She was so excited when we knocked on her door and handed her the dripping cup! Chocolate was everywhere. We finished our ice creams in the room and instantly my tummy hurt. I hadn’t had ice cream in about a year and wasn’t used to it! I recovered while visiting with my mom and he went to Friday prayer. We napped and chatted. Every Friday night at the Tamala Beach Hotel is Fish Market Night and from 7pm-11pm is all-you-can-eat fish that is prepared fresh. Mom and I went and got our baskets. We picked Lady Fish, Red Snapper, shrimp and crab! Only $20 each but after living here a while that felt like an astronomical price. We gave our baskets to the cook at the grill and got a table. Fans and breeze sitting inside the restaurant were so nice! Appetizers and soups came out before the food. My fiancé came down to sit with us as the sun set. The Olympics was on the TV while a DJ played music. A lot of fun. Our fish came out grilled perfectly! Lady Fish was the favorite. I kept ordering more grilled shrimp and passing some to my fiancé so he would eat something. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. SO much good food and joy. I just wished he felt better.

Saturday: Day 6

My cousin Sydney’s birthday. My sister’s birthday eve. We had another great breakfast and then dressed for The Royal Albert Market in Banjul. Basically a flea market, but a main food market with fish/fruit/veggies/soaps/local goods. FLIES. EVERYWHERE. The fish and the produce were covered. It was very dirty and it stunk terrible but my mom did great! She bought 10 locally-made fans for souvenirs. I got local laundry soap and fabrics. I picked out a beautiful frosted purple fabric and a dark green teal fabric with shrimps on it. My fiancé bought his mom a suitcase for her trip back with them to America. Mom was very hot! While we were out, we stopped by where my fiance went to school. It was emotional for me to see it, knowing how hard he worked in that season of his life. We were glad to get back to the hotel and shower before our Spa Day at Coco Ocean! He dropped us off. Mom and I got full-body massages, manicures and pedicures. It had been so long since I had been pampered. They served us hot moroccan mint tea as we sat in our white robes and our squishy sandals. So fun and a really good price! Almost 4 hours later we called my fiancé to come pick us up and we got eaten alive by mosquitoes as we stood all greased up; our bug spray now rubbed off. We went back to the hotel to shower and relax. Mom ordered in yummy pizza with steak and fried egg. He and I went on a date night to Ngala Lodge for dinner. I was not prepared for how beautiful the view and the food would be. It was magical. The restaurant is round and sits up high like a treehouse overlooking the ocean. The walk to the restaurant was a path through beautiful flowers and romantic lighting. We sat watching the sunset watercolor pinks and purples over the calm beach. We had such a lovely dinner and really enjoyed. 

Sunday: Day 7

My sister’s birthday. Woke up to rain! We ran in the rain to breakfast. This was the first day rainy season showed up during our visit. We had been really lucky with beautiful weather so far. We rested for the morning and then my fiancé went to visit friends and family. I went to chill with mom and she tried to give me all her things she packed. She really came with two checked bags and she left with only a carry on. My fiancé called and told us to get ready to be picked up for dinner. We took mom to Soun for dinner and had the best time! Tried the fried beans and loved them! We all got the burger that mom loved. We stopped at SafeWay on our way back to the hotel. It was still raining so there was mud everywhere! Back to the hotel to relax.

Monday: Day 8

We had an earlier breakfast than normal and said goodbye to mom for the day. He and I went to visit two of my Peace Corp Volunteer friends at their sites. We stopped in Brikama to fill up on gas and to buy both Charlie and Aji big bags of fruit. Bananas, apples, mangoes, oranges. Luckily the vendor even had grapes! 3 hours later we made it to Aji’s village in Kiang region. The road to her village was really treacherous and he kept asking if it was close. It stressed him out taking the rental car that far knowing that it was only covered in Kombo. We finally made it to her village and I got to see familiar faces. It is a Wolof village, which I don’t speak, but during IST Aji invited me to her host sister’s wedding so I have stayed there before. That time, though, we got to the village via horse cart. I was so glad for Aji to meet my fiancé and for him to meet her. We chatted in her house for a while and we gave her her big bag of fruit. I was so glad we made it to see her; she has always taken really good care of me and I wanted to return the favor. He speaks Wolof so he was able to greet everyone and even agreed to take three women who needed rides back with us to the main road. We got back on the main road and headed to Charlie in the Jarra region. About an hour later we made it to his village and I was so happy. I have been to his his village many times and I love his host family. His host mom had gone to a Kuulio with the kids so it was Charlie and his host dad who ate lunch with us. My fiancé and Charlie’s host dad enjoyed chatting and Charlie and I enjoyed trying to follow the Mandinka. Charlie’s host dad is a peanut farmer so at some point he got up and brought us a big bag of peanuts. Then the door opened and another lady in the compound brought in a live chicken and handed it to me! She told me it was for me to cook for my fiancé. It is a very big honor to be gifted a chicken like that. Charlie’s host mom called and told us she wasn’t far so we agreed to go to the village she was at and bring her back since it was raining. So with our big bag of peanuts and our chicken flopping around in the trunk, we made it over to her village in the rain and greeted everyone. We packed up the car with the family and headed back to Charlie’s village. I got to hold Ous, Charlie’s adorable baby brother, in the front seat. They wanted us to stay but we had a long trip back to Kombo trying to beat the sun going down. The original plan was to go to Charlie’s village to pick him up and go visit our training village together, but we didn’t have enough time. He and I will return to visit one day. We rushed back to Kombo just as darkness set and we were starving! But first we had to go to his family house to drop off the chicken! The day before he had paid one of his best friend’s cousins to make us Ebbeh so we drove to her house and picked it up hot and ready. Then we stopped to get chicken afra to complete our delicious dinner. We rushed back to the hotel to shower and get into jammies. We pulled the bench over to the couch and spread out all our food. We were deliriously happy eating our favorite foods in the freezing AC after a really hot fulfilling day. It was bliss. 

Tuesday: Day 9

At breakfast my fiancé told us the Sorry Cereal story, among other Basic Training stories. It was the first time I had heard him really talk about it all. We were so proud of him and all he’s been through. It felt unreal to be eating breakfast with him after all that we had endured during that season. Mom went to relax and he and I went to visit his cousin where he works at the research center. It was a nice office and he walked us down to see where he and his family lives. He is very chatty and has a funny personality. After that my fiancé dropped me off to go hang out with my mom and he went to help his mom pack. Mom and I walked down to the beach and we put our feet in the ocean. It was the first time she had touched the Atlantic Ocean from the African shore. We took pics and had fun. We went back to the room and sat by the pool with our feet in. When the mosquitos came out we went back inside. I went to go get ready for our engagement photo shoot on the beach. We had been engaged for a year but never got any photos taken. So my fiancé had reached out to a local photographer who met us at our hotel. It had threatened to rain all day but by 5:30p the weather and the sky were perfect. We had a lovely time getting pictures taken in the water and on the beach. By sunset the photoshoot wrapped up and we were starving. We walked a few feet over to the hotel restaurant and had a lovely meal by candlelight. We went to bed so happy but a little sad knowing that the next day we would have to say goodbye. 

Wednesday: Day 10

Our last day. We ate our last delicious breakfast together at the hotel. The walk there was sad. He had to go to check on his mom to make sure she had packed. Mom and I went back to her room and relaxed. We checked out and then my fiancé picked us up to go to lunch at Ngala Lodge. It was beautiful in the day too and the food was just as delicious. 10/10 recommend. I wished the time would slow down. Then we went with all the luggage to his family home. We stopped close by to see his land that he had fenced last year. I was emotional getting to stand on his land that I had always imagined but never seen. Then we went over to the house where his mom was getting ready. She had a lot of her friends over to send her off. We drove to the airport and they checked in their bags and got to come sit with me in the main lobby area before they had to go to their gate. I was very emotional. It was very hard to say goodbye but I felt relief knowing that we had gotten through the hardest and longest period of not seeing each other. I knew I would see them again in three short months. I hugged them and cried and off they went. I grabbed a taxi back to the hotel where I stayed in and ordered the steak and egg pizza mom had loved. She was right, it was so good! 

The next morning I went to breakfast by myself and it hit me that once again I was all alone. I had been all alone for 10 months; it has been just me getting places, eating, traveling and figuring things out. I hadn’t realized how tough I have been until the emptiness of their departure hit me. I really enjoyed their visit and loved having company. I got myself a taxi to the Banjul ferry terminal and crossed to Barra where I caught a gele vehicle to my village. I was home and they were gone. I was sad for the next few weeks.  

Salmon Alfredo

I can’t tell you how liberating it’s been living in a country that doesn’t celebrate american holidays.

i’m not a scrooge. i do love a themed party, cooking festive foods, buying thoughtful gifts, curating outfits and being with loved ones.

but I also love existing outside the bounds of time-markers that holidays become; the stepping stones that we jump to navigate through the year. i love just existing. one of those time-markers is valentine’s day: a much dreaded stepping stone.

Earlier and earlier the target $3 section screams for you to browse their red and pink kitchen towels and heart shaped hand mirrors. but here in my village in the gambia, there is no cupid. there is no decorating your home to match a season or A holiday. there are no flowers on a dinner table set with candles and salmon alfredo (hand over the heart for alfredo). it’s just not a thing that you do here in the village.

we all know it is a commercial holiday that pressures couples to spend money to show their love. and we also know it is a day that critiques couples into showing their love the rest of the 364 days of the year.

but what makes us feel loved?

for a long time i especially hated valentine’s day. before I met my fiancé I had been single for five years. I loved getting together with girlfriends to celebrate Galentine’s day, but obviously I hated valentine’s day being single.

in my past serious relationship we didn’t celebrate holidays. we had decided to put all the money we would spend on birthday presents, valentine’s day dinners and other special occasions into a savings jar to save for our future (hoorah to being financially responsiblE).

But that 6 year relationship didn’t last.

and i left that relationship with incredibly complicated feelings around what it means to be deserving. now in my current relationship i feel guilty for any good thing done for me.

and with my fiancé, there are infinite good things.

i cried a lot the first 6 months of our relationship. I would burst into tears or the tears would just ooze out. he would be patient and just wait for me to collect myself. he never complained once, which made me cry more. I just wasn’t used to all the goodness.

after only the first few dates he began putting important things about me under the notes section in my contact: what day of the week my therapy appointment was, what restaurants i loved, what my dreams were. after only the first few times we spent the night at each other’s places he took note of all the products i used (shampoo, deodorant, shaver, hairbrush, etc.) and ordered it all on amazon. the next time i stayed over at his place his bathroom had all my essentials in it ready for me. he would randomly drop lunch off to me at work or uber eats me bubble tea when i was stressed. he would get me cookies whenever i was on my cycle religiously, without question. he would plan for cooking nice dinners at home or going to a nice new place to try.

None of this i had to ask for. and None of this he thought was a big deal. but it was a huge deal to me. it was really hard to feel like i deserved it all.

He would drive 30 minutes to my house just to mow my grass, bring me food and take my dog out for me. and my first reaction was “are you sure?”

shortly after we started dating officially, i took in a young teenager (T) who i had been very close to since she was 7 years old going through an emergency housing situation. she ended up staying with me in my house for 9 months and i was her sole caretaker.

date nights and weekend trips with my man quickly shifted to parenting together. things were no longer spicy and fun. i had to wake up at 5am every morning so that i could take her to school downtown. I would pick her up from school on my lunch break and then we would go home after work where i quickly made dinner, did her hair and got her ready for school the next morning. i was too busy for dates and with a child there was really no alone time.

he never signed up for such a dynamic when choosing to date me and he never once complained.

he actually took the best care of us.

as an ED pharmacist, he would work 13 hour night shifts and sometimes drive 30 mins to my house to pick her up to take her to school downtown just so i could get an extra hour of sleep. i would come home to a stocked fridge and dinner bought for us. he took us out to the movies, he took us to eat at restaurants, he attended her play performances, he bought her christmas gifts and he helped me put on her 15th birthday party. when she came down with covid and we had to quarantine, he stocked my house with medicine, food and masks. he even drove four hours in a blizzard to come rescue us when the heat in my house stopped working. we stayed a week at his place where he cooked for us and bought us snacks for movie nights.

the night T moved into my house my fiancé bought dinner and helped me move her in. it was a school night but it was one of the most memorable nights of my life; the three of us laughing at the kitchen table and feeling the gravity of change that was taking place.

that man really showed his love for me: so much so that he showed his love to her as well. i couldn’t have done it without him and his unending support and true partnership.

None of this i had to ask for. and None of this he thought was a big deal. but it was a huge deal to me. it was really hard to feel like i deserved it all.

shortly before T went back to live with her family, i got the news that i got accepted to the peace corps. serving in the peace corps had always been my dream, but i was terrified at the thought of leaving for two years now that my dream man was finally in my life. this beautiful thing we had was too good to risk losing following my dream.

but he didn’t make me choose. He said that “this was the dream you had when i met you, and i want you to follow your dreams. I have enjoyed you since the moment i walked into that coffee shop, and i plan to enjoy you every day until the day i die.”

None of this i had to ask for. and None of this he thought was a big deal. but it was a huge deal to me. it was really hard to feel like i deserved it all.

i had asked earlier, but what makes us feel loved?

for me, through all my complicated feelings struggling to feel deserving of nice things and nice gestures, is a man that keeps loving me through all my complicated feelings struggling to feel deserving. he continues to show up and do kind things that i never have to ask for and keep doing them without any thought of it being a big deal.

and he will always be a big deal to me, because eventually I know that i will finally feel like i deserve it all.

serving here in the gambia and being away from that man has been hard. long distance relationships are hard. but i know that he loves me every single day. and there is no one else i would rather be daydreaming about eating salmon alfredo with than him.

happy valentine’s day.

From 3 to 30

I lived in a funeral home when I was three years old.

My dad was a funeral director my whole life (like My Girl). When I was born he decided to go to college in Cincinnati. After he graduated from the Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science, he got an opportunity to work at a funeral home in Whitehall called the Hill House. From my memory of it, it was a huge mansion with grand marble columns and a fancy gold door. In reality, it was a crummy funeral home with chipping white paint. Anyways, as part of his job offer he could move his whole family into the living quarters that were attached to the funeral home with no rent, however he was dedicated to 24/7 on-call status. 

As you can imagine, this was very hard on him. Any time the phone rang he would have to work. This made life very tough on him and on us as well. My three year old self and my six year old sister were not allowed to laugh or play. At all times we were hushed and warned about getting dad in trouble. 

The only thing separating the living quarters we stayed in and the funeral home was a wall. I remember my mom doing the laundry in a small laundry closet and through a simple door was the stuffy funeral parlor with the casket displays. The acoustics were terrible and any noise that was made in the living quarters we stayed in could be heard in the quiet somber funeral service going on next door. 

I remember my sister and I getting very creative with how to play quietly. One day my mom was coming down with the flu and was taking a nap on the couch. She kept telling us girls how cold she was so we decided it would be a good use of our play time to also be helpful. We quietly emptied every soft thing from every closet: every linen, every towel, every blanket, every coat, and every stuffed animal. We carried them one by one and placed each item on top of our sleeping mom. Finally, when we had made a giant warm mountain on top of her we decided the last step would be to climb the mountain and sit on top. That’s just what we did and then our mom woke up and looked up to see all the mess we had made and ordered us quietly to put everything back. I think about my mom and her life and how many times she stifled her voice. How many times she needed to yell but couldn’t or wouldn’t. That was a tangent, but you get the idea. 

Another distinct memory I have from living in that funeral home is forming a real belief that I would never be able to read. My sister was older than me and would come home from school with books that she could read. During our quiet play time with books and puzzles, I remember holding a book upside down looking at the words in amazement. I can somehow remember the moment I created the belief and subscribed to it: I will never know how to read. It all looked too hard. It felt so impossible and far away from me. I looked at my sister in awe at the magic of her being able to read (she was always good at everything) and just accepted my fate. 

Of course I then went on to kindergarten and elementary school and I learned how to read at a completely normal level. I did learn how to read. It just happened and I didn’t even realize that it was happening. I caught on and the once completely overwhelming thing became common language and second nature. 

That is kind of how I am feeling about learning Mandinka. I am struggling with the same three-year old belief at almost thirty years old: I will never speak Mandinka. It looks too hard and it feels so far away from me. I look at the people in my cohort in awe at the magic of them being able to speak so well. 

I am praying that i will catch on soon and that what feels so overwhelming to me right now will become second nature. 

In the meantime, I feel like screaming. 

Week One

I have been living at my permanent site with my host family for one week now.

Last Saturday we all packed up our things, STUFFED INTO FOUR different peace Corps Land Rovers and all went our separate ways TO BE SCATTERED ACROSS THE COUNTRY. I WAS IN THE TRUCK HEADED FOR THE NORTH BANK region (*NORTH BANK BEST BANK*). From the Massembeh training center, We had stopped in Farafenni to buy Kola nuts for our families. Kola nuts (kuruwo in mandinka) are culturally very important and traditionally given at ceremonies and rituals. I bought a bag of kola nuts to gift to my host family and the village leaders as a way of extending my gratitude and my respect. Kola nuts are smooth, about the size of an acorn and range from yellow to red in color. They contain a lot of caffeine and it’s common to see elders chewing on them throughout the day.

The day i was dropped off at my site happened to be one of the biggest days of the year for my village. it was the day of the kunta kinte festival. Dreams of being dropped off to leisurely greet people, take my time to unpack and get properly situated went out the window.

hundreds of people came out dripped in their best outfits to participate and witness cultural shows, dances, skits, music, and poetry. There were traditional dances by Mandinkas, wolofs, manjagos and sarahule. Traditional wedding ceremonies were acted out. the kora (a traditional mandinka twenty-one-stringed harp) was played beautifully. poems were read by talented students of the lower basic school. the village band played. it was wonderful! My host dad even Mc’d the event. it was a day of pride, culture, joy and community. It was even televised and broadcast on the radio!

the festival concluded with a big dance party for all the kids in the village as the sun went down. still not unpacked at that point, the village then hosted a huge wrestling competition that went until midnight. This was followed by a kankurang dance (the tradtional mandinka protectors against evil spirits that dress from head to toe in long grasses) that went until three o’clock in the morning.

my host dad had worked so hard mc’ing the festival and was up celebrating all night; and still that next morning as I sleepily slipped outside of my room, I found him brewing attaya where he had been up for hours. my host family really does not sleep.

As a sleepy girl who loves alone time, that has been my biggest challenge so far! I have swapped a hyper independent, structured, private way of life in america for an incredibly social, interconnected, open way of living here in gambia. when i am not socially drained, i really do love it! I love the way that everyone takes care of each other here. If you are sick, people come to see you. If you are visiting, people come to greet you. If you need sugar, all you have to do is walk into anyone’s compound for some. If you are going somewhere you have to inform people where you are going and then everyone on the way asks where you are headed. if you want to go chit chat, you don’t call or text before you just walk over to their house.

over the last week i have visited surrounding villages, the important village leaders, the Lower and Upper BAsic Schools, the NGO, the various government departments, the hospital, the police station, and the market. So far I have met about 5 fathers, 6 grandmothers, 4 grandfathers, 3 uncles and 8 aunts. every day i am learning that i am related to someone new.

in gambian society, the village leader or chief is called the alkaloo. it is usually the eldest male of the founding family of the village that becomes the alkaloo. Alkaloos handle disputes, allocate land, and officiate marriages/divorces. Along with the religious leader, or imam, they are the most important person in the village.

When visiting the neighboring village one day last week, my host mom and I walked into an unassuming compound. there was an elderly woman outside tending to a pile of sticks. She turned and smiled brightly at me with a mouth that held onto only a few teeth and skin that touched decades of warm sun. she was precious in every way and held my hand as she walked me to a bench to chat. sitting there, my mom told me that this was the alkaloo of the neighboring village. She has been the alkaloo of that village since 1994: since the year that i was born. for the duration of my entire life this wonderful woman had been the leader of her village. She was smiley and giggled at my response to her being a woman and an alkaloo. she then laughed really hard when I asked her her age. She threw her hands up and shook her head; she had stopped counting years ago and had no idea how old she was. All she knew was that since she was young god has granted her incredible strength. I didn’t want to leave her but as we said our goodbyes she told us she would come greet me at our compound.

Yesterday I was sitting with my dad sipping on attaya and all the sudden i felt bony arms wrap around me and a kiss land on my cheek. I was pretty stunned but i turned around to see that same sweet face smiling at me. this time she was dripped in a beautiful bright pink dress that my late grandmother would have loved and she looked like royalty. We sat and chatted for a while and my family gifted her some papaya from our garden. I asked how she would be getting home with a big bag of heavy papayas and my dad just laughed. He said that she’s probably close to 100 years old and she is so strong that she still works every season in the rice fields; walking home with a bag of papayas is nothing for her! She just smiled and shook her head. Regardless, I offered to at least walk her and her big bag of papayas to the main road. a walk that i thought would take 15 minutes ended up taking about an hour. she is a celebrity and stopped to talk to everyone she passed. she is fast and witty and regal. she really reminds me of my late grandmother.

anyways, I will probably always need a nap but I love my village and feel very blessed to be able to live here.

i will be praying tonight for just a little of my girl’s super strength.

A Marathon March

The marathon March is a tradition for Peace Corps the gambia.

it is a 15 mile hike through tall grass, mud, and water led by a local guide with a machete across the plains, rivers and bushes of the lower river region.

This march is completed by each cohort the last week of pre-service training before we are officially sworn in and we move to our permanent sites. I interpret this tradition as symbolizing the strength and endurance needed to traverse the many challenges of a two year service. it is messy and uncomfortable yet beautiful and rewarding.

while i love this and I am really excited to start my two years of service, the last two months here in the gambia have been a marathon march for me.

I fell through the platform area of my pit latrine while taking a bucket bath a week into living with my training village host family. i was naked and pretty badly hurt. I then moved in with a new host family where there was a cockroach infestation. I was healing, battling bugs and surviving 100 degree weather while learning Mandinka, integrating into my training village and completing training at the peace corps training center.

After my accident I ended up experiencing food aversion and lack of appetite. I just couldn’t eat. I would still come when they called me to eat out of the big family bowl where everyone sat on the ground and ate handfuls of rice out of our right hands. but i was not able to eat and would sit there. My host mom would tear off tiny pieces of cassava and chicken and pile them up on my side of the bowl. She never gave up, and after a few weeks I was eventually able to eat.

While this was the most challenging two months for me physically and mentally, it truly has been messy and uncomfortable yet beautiful and rewarding. I have laughed and cooked and danced and sang with wonderful people in my training village. I ended up falling in love with my new host family and cried when I had to leave. I have found strength to persevere through hard moments and i have learned that everything will always be okay.

Life is about the journey, not the destination: and sometimes life is a marathon march.

(The content of this website is mine alone and does not reflect the views of the U.S. Government, the Peace Corps, or the Gambian Government.)